Homework (Part 3)

One of the important underlying issues related to the topic of homework is the character of the child and their work ethic.  The past two issues I dealt with the idea of good vs bad homework and how to deal with it as a parent.  This time I want to look at the character of the child.

One of the character issues that all parents contend with in training their child is their child’s approach to work.  Children seem to all realize early on that work is sometimes hard and they do not like hard.  Students sometimes run into subjects or concepts that are difficult and hard to grasp and the immediate response for most is to give up and say it is too hard and make no effort.  Like water many children want to take the path of least resistance.

There seem to be two characteristics that need to be developed in a child in this area, perseverance and diligence.  The value of these characteristics in a person is obvious to any mature person.  Children do not see or appreciate this value nor are they interested most times in developing these characteristics.  Dallas Willard says that we fall into legalism when we emphasize ‘trying’ rather than ‘training’.  This applies to the development of character.  Homework is a tool that we can use to help develop character rather than a legalism that deadens our children.

To do something one must know what needs to be done and have the capability of doing it.  When looking at a homework assignment, a good place to start is to ask, do we know what needs to be done?  Is the assignment clearly understood?  One way to train your child is to help them make sure they know what needs to be done.  If they are confused, what do they need to find out and clear up the confusion?  Is there someone who can clear it up for them? The discipline to ask and seek answers develops diligence. 

One of the next issues is to take stock in what materials will be needed.  This again is  an excellent skill for a child to develop.  There are many humorous stories of students who need to do a project and announce it to the parent at 9pm the night before it is due.  A parent then chooses to rush off and purchase all these materials because their child has procrastinated or forgotten about the assignment.  So sit down with your child and think through what will be needed to complete assignments before starting.

Lastly, difficulty is often seen as a curse by most children. Maturity sees it more as a challenge or test, not a curse.  When a child encounters difficulty in an academic assignment how are we guiding them and training them to deal with it?  As an adult, how do you deal with difficulty?  Do you complain?  Do you give up?  Do you throw contempt at God or people?  Why does God allow difficulty in our lives?  In the scripture, God often says it is to test what is in our hearts.  James says to consider it all joy when you encounter various trials; it is a test of our faith.  The test presents an opportunity to produce perseverance and maturity.

In conclusion, we do not want to encourage laziness but diligence in our children in their homework.  We want to train our children how to face and deal with difficulty not just tell them to try harder.  We want them to grow in character and perseverence. 

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.”